#compared to the first time we talked
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also i don’t think my mentor likes me very much
#she always sounds a little frustrated with me#compared to the first time we talked#where i hadn’t finished my orientation late#but just in the nick of time to start this month#is this because my mom mentioned she got frustrated with me last time we talked#(and my mom was there)#possibly#is this just the pms#maybe#am i probably projecting that one shitty bible study teacher who basically called annoying and said i talked to much#on this innocent woman who hasn’t done anything wrong#definitely
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Ok time for my big Hadestown hot take and that’s that West End Hadestown doesn’t give you a 100% Hadestown experience. It’s still ridiculously good and 100% worth seeing, don’t get me wrong (I used my opportunity and saw it twice and will likely see it again if I’m in London), but it kinda made me realise a couple of things about OBC production that will always be my Roman Empire and make me deeply upset Broadway is too greedy to give us an OBC proshot.
So, here are some of my thoughts and reflections based on seeing Hadestown live on West End + seeing different versions (including London National theatre proshot) in boots. I think you can pretty solidly say that in Hadestown there are 2 main stories: Orpheus/Eurydice and Hades/Persephone. And even though arguably Orphedice is the main most important story, it my opinion it also wins from Hadesphone story being strong. Which works perfectly in OBC due to Amber Gray and Patrick Page delivering a very deep nuanced performances as their characters.
I think part of the success of Hadestown when it works on its fullest is how it creates a very deep emotional journey. And I feel that regardless which pair of Orpheus and Eurydice you have (if we take Broadway/tour/West End take on the characters) it’ll still work! Like you need to try really hard to mess up orphedice the way people wouldn’t root for Orpheus or wouldn’t empathise with Eurydice because they are so relatable and cute. You instantly love them, they are so so lovable. So orphedice part is one thing in Hadestown that imo works if not always then in 99% of the cases.
Hades and Persephone’s part of the story in the contrary is VERY hard to nail on 100%, in my opinion, and this is literally driving me crazy. Maybe seeing Amber Gray and Patrick page in professional recording awoken some feelings in me, I don’t know. I will state straight away that I also do enjoy other actors’ takes on characters and I do see some very interesting character moments there and there. However, I keep returning to the thought that Amber/Patrick’s characterisation works SO WELL for the main narrative. I’ll try to explain why I think so. Consider it my love letter to the OBC.
First and foremost, I feel like Hadesphone story has a very fine dynamic that the actors have to nail, so you would feel that: 1) these two still love each other; 2) these two are buried under their problems and see no way out, only a miracle (aka Orpheus and his song) can save their marriage.
And if the first one usually works at least due to Epic 3, the second one, imo, often (at least partially) falls victim to acting/directing choices which can cause troubles with point 1 as well. I think one big thing I’ve noticed is that often Persephone’s alcoholism gets forgotten in the acting performance. Like yeah sure her choreography includes drinking from a flask but in comparison to Amber you never get a feeling that she is absolutely wasted. Which, is in my opinion something that you should feel when you’re watching the show and something I was constantly forgetting about when I was watching the show on West End. I feel in Amber’s performance you can constantly see that her Persephone’s feel good attitude is a façade of a broken person who knows that her marriage is going to hell in front of her eyes yet she is too passive and hopeless to try to make an active change (well, she does try in Chant and nothing happens), so her only way is to chase the sense of normality that the “medicine” gives her. But when she is alone, if you get to catch a moment when people are not looking at her, you can see a deep sadness under her positive front and her memory of the old days when everything was more simple. Nevertheless, the main point that the lyrics literally say is that Persephone is blinded by the river of wine. And this is crucial to her character and her relationship with Hades because the story states that even though Hades is a problem and he is an active actor in creating more problems, he is not the only failure in this relationship. Persephone needs to be woken up from her apathy almost as much as Hades does and this is something that we see during If It’s True.
From Hades’ side I feel like it’s not a good decision to make him a total villain because when he is irredeemable you don’t feel like the whole “song that will fix the world” has any chance of working long term. I think Patrick nailed a deep antagonist very well. His Hades is weird and lowkey creepy and alien. He does objectively bad things but when you look at him you can’t stop thinking that he doesn’t operate in regular human logic or morality. When I look at him in Chant, it feels to me that his words about building stuff to impress Persephone are absolutely sincere, and I can absolutely see that his Hades doesn’t understand why she is so upset about it when his intentions are so so clear. Maybe it’s my vision but even before Epic 3 when he is so far gone and buried in his projects and messed up ideas I don’t have a single doubt that Persephone is a single motivator and goal of Patrick Hades’ life and that he literally doesn’t need any other being to care about. And tragically this fixation is what makes him blind to all other things he does even if those things ruin Persephone’s life (and other people’s but tbh I don’t think he cares).
I feel like by removing Persephone’s Chant 2 verse Hadestown created more problems for Hades and Persephone part of the story making it a much harder job for the actors to prove to the audience that Hades and Persephone have a chance to make their relationship work. Like I get that maybe it was a necessary things to do (even though I think the show is much better with it) but it made it so much harder to empathise with this particular part of the story unless the actors use the choices that work in the narrative. Because for example when I was watching the show on West End part of me was wondering “what is Persephone’s deal in all of that, what does she win by staying with Hades?” With the verse, and with Broadway Previews or London 2018 in particular this part was clear: Persephone still loves Hades and believes that he has the opportunity to change and become a better man he used to be. Without the verse, however, the actors should give you the same idea during the show which is a hard task considering Hades and Persephone have only 2 big conversations together (Chant and How Long). So apart from those songs there are only subtle mostly silent moments they get together through which the actors have to convey the same thought which is hella difficult and probably hardly will be appreciated by anyone apart from the people who sit closely.
So, maybe because in the actor combo I saw (Zachary and Lauren), I got a feeling that even though they were great separately, I didn’t feel much chemistry between them as a pair. I think, Persephone seemed pissed and tired of Hades all the time until How Long and I didn’t feel that she still believes in his willingness to change. And Zach Hades despite being entertaining, kinda gives the impression of Hades who has other options, he is not into Persephone enough. The only sparkle appears between the two in Epic III which is still cute but I’m not sure if it works just as well if that’s the first time you see the show? Also considering Zach Hades gives more malicious intent in His Kiss, The Riot it seems that he is not even slightly interested in Orpheus having any opportunity to succeed with his quest. Which is not bad, don’t get me wrong! But in comparison to Patrick who is deeply self projecting into Orpheus to the point where you could see that even though he doesn’t want to let him go, part of him does because it would prove he too could succeed in his challenge of waiting for Persephone, this take seems a bit lacking. And overall because of His Kiss, their promise in Wait For Me doesn’t seem as giving much hope that the story won’t repeat itself next Sunday. Which in its turn makes Orpheus’ sacrifice feel a bit… worthless. If on Broadway, when Orpheus turns, but spring comes again you feel like it is the start of something new: hopefully a kinder and softer time. On West End the show also wants you to feel it but when you think about Hades and Persephone you feel…less certainty that this sacrifice will have a long term effect?
I guess the creators wanted to concentrate on Orpheus and Eurydice more and forget about Hades and Persephone by making them more secondary story or maybe there was a lack of director’s involvement to give the cast some hints on how to make this particular part of the story work better, but it feels to me that in its current state the show works in its 85% power which is still great but once you know there is something missing you can’t stop thinking about it and wishing the show would give you those 15% you crave.
#me being me#hadestown#thanks for coming to my ted talk#I still immensely enjoyed the production and would come see it again#but when you know the show at its fullest you seem to miss some parts that worked better#also I was able to appreciate the same cast from different angles the second time I could see them from the first row so I could#get a clear view of their acting#and don’t get me wrong Zach and Lauren are really interesting to watch and I liked them#but also I started thinking if it was my first time to watch the show would I understand the appeal of Hades/Persephone line?#and I can’t stop thinking about it#hades#Persephone#hadestown broadway#hadestown west end#it’s also not about WE only but just about some characterisations I saw from different actors in different productions#I just felt like it would be fair to compare to the production and cast I saw life because obviously bootlegs even the greatest are not#the same#thanks for reading this long post
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there's a quick secondhand account from part 2 of david tennant filmography video essay from OP's boyfriend saying david's performance as macbeth blows his hamlet out of the water and i don't know what kind of drugs his macbeth is on for that to even be possible because how is that possible. How . oh my god?
#chomping on my computer keyboard as we speak can you all release a recording of this thing PLEASE#how the hell does that even happen#if it's not obvious from the way i talk about anything i think his performance as hamlet is a) my favorite of his entire filmography#b) my singular favorite performance of a shakespeare role. and c) in my top 3 performances in a movie/tv show ever#and no i am not exaggerating my brain was specifically structured to be insane in one particular way abt hamlet#and his take on the character pushes all the buttons in that every time i watch another hamlet i have to tell myself not to compare#i have to kill the part of my brain that says 'oh but i liked david's line delivery of this better' SHUT UP OMG YOURE OBSESSED I GET IT#YOUVE WATCHED THIS MOVIE OVER FIVE TIMES AND HAVE MADE IT YOUR PERSONALITY. GET A JOB#anyway OP's boyfriend likely has different taste than me but What did he put into his macbeth for that take to be made in the first place#david tennant
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i think the interview went well
#AU where they did that metallica therapy thing during their first reunion like tom wanted and it's just this for 8 hours#comparing this to interviews from that time is so funny#tom 'only GIRLS hold grudges. we just brush it all under the rug and ignore it ever happened and never talk and we're doing GREAT' delonge#sitting next to mark 'holding a grudge over BCR + related bullshit for 8 years and not about to stop now' hoppus#they were such a tragic trainwreck in slow motion lmao#blink 182#mark hoppus#tom delonge
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reminder that if you're not watching Crayon Shin-chan then you are living a hollow and empty life. this is not edited. this ripped straight from the movie (Movie 8: Jungle That Invites the Storm, highly recommend for fellow Masaaki Yuasa lovers)
if you need further convincing: these monkeys run an animation sweatshop
#i've made this disclaimer on another post but will again since i've seen a lot more of the movies now#the movies are VERY good and very enjoyable but unfortunately the first handful are bogged down by transphobic/homophobic/okama stereotypes#they kind of vary in their severity. Movie 5 i think is the biggest catalyst because it features the stereotyped characters the most#prominently. Movie 3 doesnt really have caricatures per se but saves a very backhanded reveal for the end#Movies 1 and 4 are a bit more tolerable if my memory is correct. Movie 2 i think is kind of comparable to Movie 5 with its caricatures#in that the characters have similar roles in both movies#i admittedly can't remember what caricatures there were in Movie 6 or 7. 7 i think barely had anything#RAMBLE RAMBLE BASICALLY: these jokes are within the first 7 movies or so 5 being the zenith then reducing down and down. by movie 8 it's sa#e#i give these disclaimers because these movies are all very enjoyable and i would not recommend them if i didnt think there wasnt any merit#o them. they are all very much worth watching. Movie 5 still has a lot of very enjoyable stuff in it (there's a showdown in a supermarket!!#but i just want to make sure that is clear and established since transparency is good to have and i dont want anyone's viewing experience t#be ruined because they weren't given the proper warning#if it's any consolation it's my understanding that even the directors hated doing the jokes#iirc Keiichi Hara really didn't like doing the jokes and i think had a talk with the mangaka Yoshito Usui and was like 'uh dude this is#gonna age horribly can we maybe not'#ironically Hara's first film is Movie 5. which is again the biggest offender#BUT! that is my spiel. my understanding is that it's contained to those 6 or 7 first movies and i think is strictly just a movie thing#so please do give these films a watch but just be mindful at the same time#if anyone needs recommendations my favorites have been movies 4 and 9 but i genuinely really enjoyed every one that i have seen#i've seen the first 11 and a half movies (need to finish 12) and movie 22. the worst i've felt about one is 'oh that was pretty good!'#each film has its own merit and is very very very much worth watching#22 was the first Shin-chan anything i watched and all my Shin-chan expert friends say 4 is a good introductory piece#in case that influences anything/makes it easier to break in#so. thus concludes my spiel#csc#vid
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okay i finished watching the episode and i'm
IM ABOUT TO EXPLODE RAAAAAA
#underverse spoilers#underverse 0.7 spoilers#my art#xtale#cross#cross sans#cross!sans#xtale sans#okay but CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE ART??? THE ANIMATION'S SO SMOOOTH#love love cross with all my soul omgg#the way he touches his (now gone) scar did things to my mind that can't be reversed OMGGG#i just. ADORE how little chill he has compared to his other versions HHH he's so >:(#his royal guard instincts keep validating my warrior/military headcanons ughghhh the way he punched ink made me laugh HHH#btw ink is getting more and more interesting to watch >:D love his interactions w/ cross sm waaa i would watch seasons of their banter#i've been seeing the crink potential for years but his is the first time i sat down and silently agreed there should be more fics abt them#cross's faces are all so. RAGHAGHGHA I WANNA BITE HIS CHEEKS#SO CUTE >:'((((#and fatal.....FATAL#HIS GLITCHY VOICE IS SOO COOL WTFFF#i did NOT expect their fight or him to look so breathtaking omg i need a break HGHGHG#dream and ink's meeting is so awkward HHH i love them all so much it's crazy :'D#og sans looks like he hasn't slept in ages poor guy</3 love the fur on his jacket tho >;D#geno BETTER not turn into error i will literally loose my MARBLES OMGGG that bonus after the end credits...the error w/ glasses panel...#i'm so mad right now GHGGG I WISHHHH i could redraw some screenshots waghga there's SO MANY things i wanna doodle...#btw killer cross and fatal loosing/ injuring their arms gang<3333 i wanna see more of fatal tho aughgh he's so awesome#anyways i'm gonna. shut up xD
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who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it
#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it#idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character#someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it#and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly#its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked#because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately#like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means#it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by#a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time#i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid#so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or#smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them#become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words#but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened#especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that#need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta#once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it#circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it#actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt#i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me#that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly#mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them#have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP#IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL#yapping
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all hate to tiktok for taking 'having a space to more openly and actively talk about different cultures' to mean 'cultures are NOT to be shared and we must be vigilantly defensive of our cultures for fear of appropriation, a word that can be applied to any multicultural interaction'. like of course cultural appropriation is a very real problem but ive seen with the access to global multicultural conversation that tiktok provides it's made people TERRIFIED to even interact with cultures other than their own for fear of 'doing it wrong'. like at some point you have to acknowledge that in the real world of the great outdoors, the majority of people are eager to SHARE their cultures. yes there are ignorant questions and biases but also... how do you think those things get unlearnt? i dont understand how deciding that multiculturalism is an elephant in the room instead of a normal thing that should just be talked about and lived with is supposed to benefit anyone? and kids on tiktok are CONVINCED that it's a time bomb of a conversation to have and therefore must be avoided at all costs but like. people generally LOVE their home and their culture and are PROUD of it and want to share it. how have we made it so that showing genuine interest and a desire to understand something so integral to a person's identity is now feared and borderline demonised?
#thinking about this a lot lately. thinking about how fun it was comparing cultural differences in america#thinking of how when i was homesick one thing i found a great comfort in was talking about my home#and how it differed and i really loved and appreciated it when people would ask me about england#in a way that they genuinely just wanted to learn about it and not to take the piss#thinking about how the kitchen at work has chefs from all over europe. we have an irish chef and a spanish chef and an italian chef#and one of the kps is from eastern europe (i havent actually been able to find out where yet) etc and the way they banter with each other#like usually chefs are Problematic bc their humour is VERY abrasive and usually offensive#but this is one instance where it's actually to their benefit bc they're so unafraid to ADDRESS THE FACT THEY HAVE DIFFERENT CULTURES#i feel like the tiktok gen are so petrified of even acknowledging other cultures let alone discussing them#that it's actually sending the conversation backwards. like how does hoarding your culture and pretending it's not there benefit anyone#LET ALONE YOU AND THE CULTURE IN QUESTION. idk it just baffles me a bit that something that started as people on tiktok#genuinely spreading information and talking about the BAD side of this where people DO culturally appropriate or invade spaces that arent#theirs has now become 'for fear of speaking bad about it we will not speak about it at all'. and they'll crucify you if you do. like what#even at uni my best mate is indian and she's too scared to join the sikh society on her own so i regularly go to the events with her#and im typically one of the handful (or the only) white non-sikh there and i get SO welcomed each time#like there's such a genuine excitement to share the culture with someone who is effectively a blank slate#and like yeah ill ask 'dumb' questions or i'll have different experiences (tried a samosa for the first time at one of these events#and the moment that info got out i had like five STRANGERS trying to give me different samosas to try and it was genuinely such#a laugh bc yes they were TEASING me bc 'how have you never had one' but they were also really eager to share MORE as a result)#ugh idk what im saying. i just think it's a shame to watch this happen in real time on the internet#when if people would just go outside and actually TALK to people from other cultures they'd realise 9 times out of 10 the interactions#are actually really really nice for BOTH parties. and actually refusing to talk about this stuff is long-term pretty fucking detrimental#and it also goes the other way!!! like imagine if i - citizen of colonisation motherland herself - didn't interact with other cultures#and didnt ask questions or hear their opinions on whatever shared history we have from THEIR POINT OF VIEW#imagine the kind of shit id be internalising bc i only hung out with other white british people. it wouldnt matter if i was doing it#to be woke or 'respect their culture'. it would still be fucking ignorant. like half my interactions with other cultures#see me as the butt of the joke bc of this like aforementioned irish chef at work VOCALLY slates the english all the time#but it's done in an environment where we're FRIENDS and it's poking fun at each other while still addressing a very serious history. like??#idk if any of this is worded in a way that makes sense but yeah. i have thoughts#cant believe i got inspired to make an actually serious post bc of the CHEFS AT WORK. embarrassing. no one let them see this
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I always get detained at da border because PROFUNC never ended but basically I'm like if a targeted individual didn't even care
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god i finally watched new episodes my honest reaction is jgiwoaoKzmxmkwkakkak
#it kinda doesnt feel real for me idk why#like i do not actually process all of it??#tho I DO have ideas and thinking i did pay attention#maybe i've just had a wild day i guess#but also oh god vex'ahlia broke my heart#twice#first time were when scanlan was talking how he couldn't be at two places at the same time to help 'em and she said nobody gives a fuck#i feel so bad for scanlan rn i love him#haven't watched campaing to the bard's lament yet but oh fuck im too spoiled i do know what happens where (a little bit)#the second time was when she said she really cares for percy i started crying at that moment#also im a lil bit disappointed cuz i thought we would get percys death and vex's spech but we got “i open the door completly naked” scene ->#and im very happy we got it like oh wow i didn't expect that#but idk im just a girl and i love percahlia's slowburn#since i watched 64 eps of actual campaign it become hard for me to not compare campaign and tlovm cuz obviosly its very different#but with percahlia in tlovm we don't have hours and hours of campaign context#(we don't have percy making her arrows)#and i understand why cuz 100+ streams 3+ hours each is one thing and animated series with 12 eps of 25 minutes is another#but as i said previosly it is very hard for me to not compare it#by the way i do think changes in tlovm make sense#cuz like?? i think vex is more sharpy in tlovm than in campaign?? like#like she punced scanlan in first season and in campaign they are kinda good friends and i really love them??#*punched#and i think she's more ?? bossy i guess?? idk how to put it into words but in my head it makes sense “i open the door completly naked” ->#goes earlier than “i shouldve told you its yours” cuz shes playing pretend even more than in campaign???#acts like its casual when its actually isnt AT ALL#and im glad percy said “what is it i want” to vex cuz its kinda like that scene in campaign when percy talked to vax#when he called them all family for the first time and said he's trying to find what he wants in life#i love percy and vax dynamic btw#i wanted to write even more here but apparently i can do only 30 tags wtf#they want me to actually write posts oh no. hate to put it all in tags but im too nervous abt posting on the internet
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also I keep doing the thing where I have an interaction. astarion disapproves. I sigh. I reload the save before the interaction. I kick him back to camp. I do the thing. I pick the lad back up.
#eve lae’zel likes me better than him it’s kinda funny#him and karlach like. she’s a surprisingly tough cookie#I also picked her up? kinda late?#it was a case of I was scared to do stuff on the map#I also didn’t pick up wyll for a hot minute bc I coudlnt find him#I’m better now about looking around + talking to everyone l#I spent like. an hour and half talking to people around last light#I still don’t have halsin#ALSO IM SO SORRY GAMERS#I accidentally killed minthara. so she is uhhhh MIA from my current game#I do want to play w her one of these times#I might have to make a different oc for it tho#I know I could have knocked her out and she would show up ;—;#I was. so anxious about the goblin camp that I kinda jsutjddudjdjdjddj#on the list of things to do now that things in the game are less scary#I ain’t going back anytime soon tho like I wanna finish the game first I think#gosh act 1 is huuuge compared to act 2#I’m waiting for the we fix the problem and turns out there’s a lot worse problems going on#unless act 2 is just truly as short as I’m imagining#but we’ll see! don’t tell me tho I wanna find out obviously#owen plays bg3
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i find very cool how you're dating the writer of the comic you were (still are) swooning over
it's literally so fucking funny. you guys cannot even comprehend all the reasons why this is the funniest shit ever
#mail#Anonymous#we only started actually talking to one another outside of tagging each other's posts#after i sent some example work in to the paradox space^2 server#and vicki was so excited to see me there and i was like. shocked#and then we were just insane about homestuck at each other for like 8 months#the whole time trying to avoid admitting how much we thought about each other like it was some fucking game to us#i blinked first when i subtweeted her by comparing sending a project file to gay sex in terms of raw intimacy involved#right after sending her a .fla so she could check to see how to optimize it better. which was maybe not my most tactical stroke yet#but apparently she found it extremely endearing of me. i did not sleep that entire night we were talking so long#i had a plane to catch in the morning and i did not give a shit. we were fucking living#a single barrier came down and that's all it took for us to realize. oh fuck. hey. we're both in love with each other huh#that was like over a month ago now. it is so truly special to me#you guys haven't even seen the most of it we could literally be making a spectacle of this shit were we not so merciful
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Saw the Epilogue for Liar Satsuki just now and yeah no, I was coping when I thought it'd make things better. I still can't believe Akira and Satsuki didn't end up together. After EVERYTHING these two have been through together. Komachi is not even slightly as relevant for most of the manga, and you can say what you want about both their abilities tying them together thematically and what not, but frankly the entire manga set it up such that Akira x Satsuki was the obvious choice.
#unma rambles#liar satsuki can see death#usotsuki satsuki wa shi ga mieru#also the dad thing is... fine. Could've been done better if it was given more chapters to breathe#and the way he acted to her still makes me upset thinking about it#so seeing him forgive Satsuki but not acknowledge how much he's hurt her really annoys me#bullshit that things will get better fucking tell your daughter sorry#okay I'm sure he probably says it off screen given it ends on “We need to have a talk” but like#I can't just accept that#but this is just a me thing tbh#at the end of the day it's fine#honestly this is probably the first yuri to leave me so annoyed at its ending#I've read and dropped bad yuri before#not often does it leave me annoyed because I have a high tolerance#but like#wow this is the first time I've been mad at the ending of a love triangle#and part of that is that one side of the love triangle didn't even exist!#it appeared in the last few chapters and suddenly won#it makes no sense from anything but a thematic standpoint#and even then it fucking sucks on that point because Komachi and Satsuki barely interact directly compared to Akira#like if you wanted Satsuki x Komachi to be endgame#YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE SO MUCH TO MAKE THE READERS LIKE SATSUKI X AKIRA#the collective despair of the mangadex comment section upon realizing that this was the ending they were getting#yeah. I felt the same way man#okay that's it. I have things to do. ramble over.#rambling in the tags
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Just saw this comment on a story posted a month ago.
*cries in Eddie Munson Solo Series no one wanted to read, interact with or request for*
No shade to the person that commented this on their own fic if you recognize it. It's not their fault. I'm not mad at them. More crying in the tags.
#and no I didn't tag the solo series like I normally would because it's not about THAT. It's not about trying to get people to read it#It was just really ouchie to see the same concept I wrote 2 years ago get triple the notes in ONE MONTH.#and double the notes of my solo series masterlist in general in one month vs 2 years of my stories sitting there rotting#Then I see people saying they need more solo Eddie and I'm just here like my dudes I begged for requests. BEGGED. But bc I wasn't#/have never been a popular writer people don't want it from ME. It's like omg we want THIS but not like that. Not from you.#Can't help but let it get you down when nothing has changed in 2 years. It's not like I worked my way up and have the interaction now#that every other blog I used to commiserate with back in the day is getting currently. Fandom isn't a competition but it's not fair either#and I really struggle with that a lot of the time#Also yes I will concede I should be happy with the notes on the solo series because they are the highest of all the work on my page but#they're still nothing compared to what some people have just hours after posting a new story.#I saw someone complaining the other day that there are less new stories in the fandom than ever 1. That's simply not true. 2. Even if it wa#can you blame writers for giving up when readers are checking the same popular blogs over again or reading the same 5 tropes the same#2 pairings over and over. The same series? Over and over. Ignoring everything else and then complaining that their faves don't post enough?#That the popular writer with the incredible series (that rightfully deserves interaction) hasn't posted a new dad!eddie or rockstar!eddie#drabble in ages meanwhile there are writes out there pouring their souls into dad!eddie and no one reads it. There is so much rockstar Eddi#smut out there that it could sustain a brand new reader for an entire year before they needed a new fic#Idk man. I'm just feeling so defeated. I write for fun now. But there was a point in time where I desperately tried to build a platform by#offering requests and writing a lot of things I would not otherwise write to try and gain traction on my page and every time I see another#food fucking fic get hundreds of notes I get so sad that I wrote that stupid Melon fic because I had people in my life that told me#they would be excited to read it and for what? One of them still talks to me. The others moved on so fast. Most didn't even reblog it.#Some of them have since written their own food fucking fics that got triple the notes of my OG. Again. No shade to them. I don't own the#concept. It's just disheartening and fucking sad above all else. How hard I tried to get people to LIKE me and my stories. 😂#Just sad hours in general tonight my guys. Going to go and pour the bad feelings into Aftermath and then maybe make a bad life choice and#pour all my savings into an ipad#YES I KNOW first world problems. I know. That's why I try not to talk about it bc it seems so petty considering the state of the world#But you can't help what gets you down#EMMs Journal#EMM's Journal
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im being so real with everyone theres a 50/50 chance i break up w my boyfriend as soon as i start working full-time lmao
#i dont mean to sound crass or careless and i do love him but i genuinely dont know if its gonna work when we're both full-time employed#and we had a REALLY weird conversation the other day#where i mentioned that according to the employee manual if i dont take lunch i can leave an hour earlier than i thought i would be#but then i was like ''its going to look bad if im the first one out the door every day so i probably wont do that''#and he was just totally talking past me telling me im overthinking it and i should just do the skipping lunch thing#and i didnt know how to explain to him that these unwritten social rules at work actually matter#and that doing the bare minimum compared to others is bad for my career#and he just kept insisting i was wrong#like i just think we have very different goals and outlooks on work stuff and i wouldnt be surprised if it actually leads to conflict later
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okay so I know 7x04 is from Buck's POV, so the characters are a little off to reflect Buck's feelings and perceptions. But rewatching it today, why did it feel like Eddie was the only one that was vastly different from his normal self? To the point it was a little disorienting. Even some of the line delivery (like the trivia/babysitting thing) were not how Eddie typically delivers things. Like yeah I get that everyone is a little different in Buck's mind, but the more I watch it, the more I realize that Eddie's character shifts more as the episode goes on and Buck sinks deeper in his jealousy. And while the episode focused on Buck, Buck is focused on Eddie. So it felt like the obvious differences to his usual mannerisms were highlighted.
#eddie diaz#911 abc#just thinking thoughts#really though it was kinda wild how different eddie felt in this one compared to any other character#even the emergencies for this one kept the team pretty separated#ravi felt normal#chim felt normal#maddie felt normal#don't know that other guy yet#so can't say much about him#but eddie was just wild af the whole time#my favorite part was buck's face when that man rejected buck's offer to get his jeep and drive eddie#like sure you wanted that dude's attention or whatever#but you were also prettttty unhappy that he got to take your bestie to seek medical attention#meanwhile you were self isolating because you were sure your bestie hated you and you were too nervous to face his anger#which really was just your own anger at yourself you were projecting#we all know eddie thinks you do no wrong sir#literally#your first kiss with the man you were talking about maiming eddie#when eddie does not feel like you maimed him#we call that guilt
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